Canada's not boring today.
]]>High-level programming can be like mathematics or music: it brings order and harmony out of chaos. There is a fundamental sense in which everything is clearly right or wrong. A note is either in tune or it is not. A solution is either correct for an equation or it is wrong. A program - well, it fails to work. But eventually, some work right, and when they do there is an extraordinary feeling that the necessary, unarguable structure of the world has been revealed. In this way, programming is more like physics than pure mathematics, because if you apply the right logical or mathematical transformations to your input what comes out is not merely satisfying on its own terms but appears to rule the world as well.
The author Andrew Brown's weblog, Helmintholog, often has interesting posts and is worth adding to your favourite news reader.
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Teacake set to cost taxman £3.5m
The UK Treasury is facing a £3.5m bill, because of VAT wrongly imposed on a Marks and Spencer teacake, the European Court of Justice (ECJ) has ruled.
Customers paid VAT for 20 years before the authorities accepted the product was a cake, which does not command VAT.
The UK argued that paying back the total sum would "unjustly enrich" M&S as customers had paid the money.
The ECJ ruled that, in principle, VAT had to be repaid in full, but left the final decision to the British courts. That decision will be taken by the House of Lords and HM Revenue and Customs said it was too early to make a comment.
"This is a very complex judgment on which it would be premature to make any comment until the House of Lords has handed down its judgment," Revenue and Customs said in a statement.
Marks and Spencer also gave a cautious response.
"It does look encouraging. However, it is a complex matter and we are reviewing the decision of the ECJ with our advisers," a spokeswoman said.
What hope is there for mankind if it takes us 20 years to determine the difference between a biscuit and a cake? Even now, the language used by the parties involved is stultifying:
"This is a very complex judgment (remember that fundamentally, this is about the difference between a biscuit and a cake) on which it would be premature (it's only been 20 years) to make any comment until the House of Lords (the highest court in the land) has handed down its judgment."
Meanwhile, Marks & Spencer feels it necessary to consult with its advisers. If ever proof were needed that we are the cause of all our problems, this example is it.
Since the decades of indecision must have caused the UK's bakers untold stress, I think the money should be donated to the Bakers' Benevolent Society or perhaps the National Association of Master Bakers Benevolent Fund. How's that for a speedy decision?
]]>The following passage from The Immigrant Strain, the first essay in the book and dated 6 May 1946, jumped off the page for obvious reasons:
If you feel baffled and alarmed at the prospect of differentiating one American type from another, you can take heart. You have more hope of success than Americans, who shuffle through every stereotype of every foreign culture as confidently as they handle the family's pack of cards. Americans are not particularly good at sensing the real elements of another people's culture. It helps them to approach foreigners with carefree warmth and an animated lack of misgiving. It also makes them, on the whole, poor administrators on foreign soil. They find it almost impossible to believe that poorer peoples, far from the Statue of Liberty, should not want in their heart of hearts to become Americans. If it should happen that America, in its new period of world power, comes to do what every other world power had done: if Americans should have to govern large numbers of foreigners, you must expect that Americans will be well hated before they are admired for themselves.
Apart from the now-dated reference to families shuffling cards badly — families no longer shuffle cards much — Cooke's prophecy seems strikingly accurate today.
]]>Another mysterious right foot floats ashore in Gulf Islands
For the third time in six months, a right foot wearing a sneaker has washed up on the shores of the Gulf Islands, in the Strait of Georgia.
The latest foot was found on the east side of Valdez Island, near Nanaimo. Last August two other right feet, both male and both wearing size 12 sneakers, washed ashore on nearby Gabriola and Jedediah Islands.
Those cases are still under investigation, and so far no links between the three discoveries have been established, police said. The latest appendage has been turned over to the B.C. Coroner's Service, and the RCMP is reviewing missing-persons files that could shed light on its discovery. Police have yet to determine whether foul play had anything to do with the feet.
It's clear from the following interview with the RCMP (no Coen brothers' satire could be better — "We have received a complaint." — "It is unusual to find three right feet.") that … where there's a foot there must be other body parts, right? But surely logic suggests they should simply be looking for three one-legged men?
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How about one of these? It's 12½ feet wide! If you don't have room, what better excuse do you need to move house?
Panasonic unveiled this beauty at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas this week. Its screen is the equivalent of nine 50-inch sets. The price was not revealed, but it's a step up from Panasonic's 103-inch (8ft 6in) version, which cost £35,000 when it launched. Start saving those pennies now.
]]>For some reason, thinking of the above reminded me of the following poem by Dorothy Parker.
Resumé
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
Don't worry. I'm not feeling particularly morbid. Honest.
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To enjoy the last weekend of the "summer-that-never-was" we decided to visit the Thames Festival for the first time. This 10-year-old event appears to be an initiative of London's mayor, and it's billed as "London biggest end-of-summer party" — with lot's to do between Westminster and Tower Bridge.
Getting to the event by river boat seemed the most appropriate approach, so we set off in good time to catch the regular summer service downriver from Kew Pier. The Thames was at low tide when we arrived and so the descent to the pier was quite steep, but it was a spectacular day and we had great views of this relatively quiet stretch of London's famous river.
Due to the tides, the river boat schedule is somewhat imprecise. So it wasn't terribly surprising when the Henley arrived a few minutes late. As far as I could tell it was completely full of passengers on their way to Kew Gardens for the afternoon, and it occurred to me that there really can't be a better way to get to Kew in the summer. It's a 90 minute journey from Westminster with lots of interesting sites to see along the way, no traffic or public transport to spoil the view, and the wonderful Royal Botanic Gardens to explore at the end. I'm sure that must be one of London's great day-trips for tourists.
Of course on this occasion we were making the opposite journey, which is always going to be less popular. There were only a dozen people waiting to make our trip and it's non-stop all the way to Westminster, so it was like having our own private cruise deep into central London.
Strand on the Green
St George Wharf
Two observations stood out during our journey. The first was the contrast between 19th and 20th century riverside architecture. I'm sure both will have their proponents, but the difference in scale was simply staggering. Compare these two photographs to see what I mean (clicking on either image will take you to a larger version). These buildings are less than seven miles apart as the crow flies, but they're light years apart in terms of size and style. From our perspective on the river, one seemed liveable; the other a monster. The irony is that the developers of St George Wharf will no doubt be marketing their apartments as exclusive properties ("pre-qualified registered buyers only"), while in reality it's the 19th century riverside home that is truly rare.
The second observation was the lack of almost all heavy industry on the river. Signs of it's demise were many and varied, but we saw very few operational wharves or riverside factories at all during our journey downstream. The Thames has become a river for pleasure and recreation.
The Thames Festival itself was a disappointment; a victim of its own success. Way too many people all trying to squeeze along the south bank Thames path. We ate lunch standing up, my daughter made a pumpkin hat (?), and we left — this time returning by the good, old District Line.
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